Trouble Magnet : A Novella: A Novella

By Johnson, Kevin, Wade

Book Id: WPLBN0100304259
Format Type: PDF eBook:
File Size: 0.1 MB
Reproduction Date: 10/13/2022

Title:	Trouble Magnet : A Novella: A Novella
Author:	Johnson, Kevin, Wade
Volume:
Language:	English
Subject:	Fiction, Drama and Literature
Collections:	Authors Community, Humor and Satire
Historic Publication Date:	2022
Publisher:	Self-Published

Member Page:	Kevin Johnson
Citation APA MLA Chicago Wade Johnson, B. K. (2022). Trouble Magnet : A Novella. Retrieved from http://www.gutenberg.cc/

Description
Cowboys! Flying saucers! Gangsters! A weird space creature! Rustlers! Outlaws! Dames in trouble! The mob! Space Amazons! Space gladiators! And one man is the key to it all… How can this be? Trouble Magnet – A rare condition wherein the afflicted individual attracts frequent trouble of a serious nature. This has manifested most recently in the form of a starship captain whose five-year mission was plagued on a weekly basis with every imaginable complication. Earlier cases include ranches that were rustled, attacked by outlaws, and worse, also weekly, as well as a number of private detectives hired, once again every week, for murders, kidnappings, and other felonies rather than the usual missing persons and divorce cases. Most often a Trouble Magnet merely draws in drama and danger. But in the most extreme case ever recorded… - Unusual Conditions in Space and Time, Mark Ayrata, ed., Proxima University Press, 2263, p. 1186

Summary
Remember all those cowboys, detectives, and starship captains who ran into some life-threatening emergency, every week, usually in prime time, at 8 pm? This novella takes the idea to its (il)logical conclusion

Excerpt
I moseyed back to the ranch house, went and found me my lady boss, Miss Letitia Knott. She was standin' on the broad plank porch in her homespun dress and her bonnet, lookin' out over her land. She saw me comin', and gave me a welcome that brought a smile to my face it did. She always showed how much she trusted and valued this here cowboy, yes indeed. "Now what, Gunnar?" I doffed my hat. "Well, Lets—" "It's Miss Knott to you, cowboy." That just made me smile all the more. That warm heart o' hers! I said, "Well, Miss Knott, I found me three thievin' rustlers a-rustlin' our cattle on the north range. Fact." "And plugged them all in their thieving rustling hearts?" "*Rotten* thievin' rustlin' hearts, ma'am." "When exactly was this?" I looked up at the sun, 'cept it wasn't all that high in the sky anymore, so I had to look down some. "I'd say about two hours a-gone." "Two hours?!" "Sorry, ma'am, but moseyin' ain't the fastest—" "Never mind," she interrupted. "Give me the details." I did, and she said, "Did you bury them?" "No ma'am," I admitted, "I didn't have no shovel." She sighed. "Did you un-rope the steer?" "No ma'am," I admitted, "I didn't have no un-ropin'—" "Never mind," she said. "I'll have one of the others ride out and take care of it. Go get your dinner before it gets cold." "Thank'ee kindly, ma'am," I said, touched by her care for this old— "Hurry up now. No moseying!" I walked to git my vittles with my head held high and a smile on my face. She's said a-fore that the way I git her all fed up, she should do the same for me.

Table of Contents
One: Down Home Two: On the Range Three: Things Are Getting Four: Pretty Strange Five: But They Do Mend Six: In the End Cast of Characters About the Author